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“And don’t fight anymore …” (part 1)

A bright stroller was moving along the park’s alley towards us, ahead of which a baby walked – so pink and blue, smiling all over the world. Judging by the gait, he took few steps in his life and was terribly proud of himself. My two-year-old son, passing by, pushed him. The kid fell into the mud and cried loudly – this wonderful world was aggressive.

Is aggression a norm?

My son’s act terrified me and … confusion. The fact is that before this the problem was the opposite, on the contrary – when sand crumbled in the country at the dacha, cars were taken away and a shovel was tapped on the head, he stood and only looked perplexedly at the offender, and I – I suffered from the fact that my son not able to defend himself.

Suddenly, everything changed in an instant: he turned into a bully cock trying his hand, and began to bounce and push everyone – regardless of age, gender and level of acquaintance. Moreover, if a rebuff was not given, it caused only a desire to attack again, and reasonable arguments and warnings were absolutely in vain. It was then that I reached for the books of Dr. Spock and other experienced pediatricians-educators, from which it followed that “pushing, pulling at the hair, screaming, beating on the head with a shovel and scratching” is the norm for children aged 2 to 3 years and that many babies and, accordingly, their parents are faced with this problem.

What pleases us with our babies?

Walking with the child, I involuntarily became the witness of numerous “showdowns” between the two-year-olds. Some simply pulled out toys, others pushed, others scratched their faces, and some even bite.

Interestingly, the reaction of mothers was different. There are mothers who are so in love with their child that they do not even consider it necessary to control or stop him. They blindly follow the principle of “they figure it out.” Others intervene and, if their baby is a danger to another child, try to stop their attacker. But to do this is extremely difficult; skill and ingenuity are required.

Where does this nightmare come from?

– Many changes in the behavior of the baby are signs of age.

Indeed, at this time, the child discovers himself and tries his hand. He explores the boundaries of what is permitted: what can be done if you push a little, and what should never be done. He resists any pressure from other people.

– Disagreement between parents does not benefit anyone.

It has long been known that clarifying the relationship between parents with a child, even just talking on elevated tones, disorientes and distresses him.

The kid does not understand why two of his beloved people are quarreling, he just feels a strong negative emotional stress. At the same time, he can either openly show his nervousness, or plunge into a game of wrangling. But do not be mistaken about him – he sees and hears everything. And do not be surprised then, if in the game on the playground your baby will scream and fight.

– It is difficult to avoid the influence of the external environment.

Meeting with pugnacious children on the street, aggression from a television screen, loud music also does not contribute to a peaceful, quiet childhood. It’s no secret that in some families, children simply grow up to the sound of the TV. But explosions, shooting, screaming and sometimes empty dialogs are not the best lullaby for a baby going to bed.

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