Teenager and adult: what do you need to know to become a good parent for a teenager?
Becoming an exemplary parent is not easy for a teenager, but why not try? Even if you already have enough life experience, you can always try to overcome the wall that appears between generations. Even a modest attempt your child will appreciate over time. We’ll figure out what you need and what you don’t need to do to become a cool parent. Risk factor: problems of adolescents Before trying to get closer to your child, you need to understand that during the transitional return he has many difficulties that a parent must help him solve. The main problems: lack of independence with the need for independence. On the one hand, a teenager already considers himself an adult, but on the other, he cannot solve many problems himself. This leads to conflicting behavior when the child refuses to fulfill the requirements of adults, but at the same time seeks their support; difficulties with self-esteem. Teenagers are characterized by leaps in self-esteem. A teenager can simultaneously feel “cool” and a loser, which leads to emotional outbursts and instability. Often rudeness may appear in conversations, deeds; puberty and related issues. If you have a taboo topic of sex, in adolescence it is worth starting such a conversation. Do not think that the child has already learned everything from the Internet. He will not recognize the main thing, namely, he will not be sure of support in which case and will not be able to ask a question or ask for advice. This uncertainty will begin at the age of 13-14 and remain with him until you yourself remove the taboo from the topic. The purpose of a conversation about sex is not to explain the basics, but to determine the degree of trust between you; the uncertainty of the future. Few of the children immediately know who they want to be. And if the kid can just shrug his question to the question “What do you want to become?”, Then society begins to put pressure on the teenager. And the older he gets, the greater the pressure. Help your child decide on the future. Important! Do not decide for him where to go and who to work with. Give me the opportunity to see different specialties in action, just talk about this topic. Most of the problems that adolescents face can be easily resolved by adults. These are not global difficulties, but standard stages of growing up. But if you do not communicate with your child, he will not make contact himself and will remain face to face with his problems. The prospect is not the most joyful. Rapprochement factor: what to do so that a teenager accepts you The first thing you need to do for your child is to forget all the plans that you made regarding him. The result of the educational process will still be different from what was expected. Instead of trying to push a teenager into a framework, get to know him better: Read also: scenarios of kindergarten releases in a speech therapy group can a grafted child get some water? entertainment. Do not be surprised at what you see. Girls may very well show you games about Winx and Monster High, guys will most likely talk about superheroes and hobbies of any modern sport, such as a skateboard. Do not push your son or daughter away, even if your hobbies seem inappropriate to you. On the contrary, go forward, for example, offer to play thematic computer games together, or watch a couple of cartoon episodes together or talk about your favorite sport and think about how you can contribute to the success of your child in this lesson; give the teenager independence. Let your child decide where to spend most of his vacations and which notebooks to buy at school. Invite a teenager to participate in the creation of a family menu and holiday planning. Let go for a walk with friends. If you are worried, discuss clear rules, for example, after a certain time to call you or write SMS. Demand them to be observed, but remember – the time of obedience has passed. Now you need to find a compromise; instill in your child family values, create new family traditions. Many teenagers are fenced off from the family: past joint affairs have ceased to interest, and new parents are in no hurry to offer. Remember that a teenager almost always feels lonely. Indifference and alienation in the family will only increase this feeling. Just do not impose. Your task is to offer and support when the child reaches for you; support the teenager even when he makes mistakes. It is on them that he learns. You cannot protect a teenager from everything bad, but you can reduce the damage and teach him how to deal with stress and take his failures for granted.