Teens and parents (part 1)
It seems to me that for no generation the task of educating adolescents has not been as difficult as it is today. Many of the parents I meet in counseling are very concerned about their children’s behavior. It is not so easy to answer the question of what torments the souls of modern adolescents. The fact is that a modern teenager lives in other social conditions. From the very beginning of the existence of adolescent culture to the present, the main topics remain: independence and self-determination. Despite all the similarities, there is a huge gap that separates the modern teenager from the teenagers of the past. What are these differences?
Modern adolescents have grown up in a world of advanced technology. Cable and satellite television, computer, Internet – have become an important part of life and have both a positive and negative impact on them. Our children can chat online with friends and send them messages anywhere in the world. Internet “chats” displace telephone communications as a method of communication between adolescents. This technological reality gives them a connection with the world, and the world gives them the opportunity to influence them.
2. Knowledge of and contact with violence:
Your teenager knows much more about human cruelty than you knew, because the media says a lot about violence, our culture gravitates to violence, sometimes it is simply obsessed with it (films, television shows, music). Modern adolescents see violence not only in the cinema and the media, many of them have experienced it personally. Most teenagers admit that they often watch scenes of violence at school.
3. Family breakdown:
The fragility of a modern family – a large number of divorces, living with one of the parents, single parents, remarriages in which each parent has his own child from his first marriage. Stress, alienation, inattention to each other are directly related to the tension of adaptation to new types of families. Modern children are deprived of supervision, support outside the home.
4. Knowledge of sexual relations and contact with them:
Modern teens live in a world in which there are no rules related to sex. Cinema, the press and music identify sex with love and portray it as part of a full-fledged relationship between people. Teenagers who do not live sexually struggle with such thoughts: “Maybe I’m missing something important? Is there something wrong with me? ”
Modern adolescents live in a world in which sex is not only considered a normal part of courtship, but living together before marriage is becoming more and more natural.
In such a complex world, modern teens live. But the positive thing is that they are waiting for advice from their parents. Parents have a greater impact on adolescents than peers in the following questions: whether to go to school, which institute to attend, questions about religion. Parents influence the plans of adolescents related to work and career. Friends are more likely to influence immediate decisions: skipping classes, meeting with whom, what to wear, etc.
Who, nevertheless, has a greater influence – parents or friends? Parental influence is undoubtedly in those problems that are most important and maximally determine the future of a teenager, his thinking and behavior.