Comparative analysis of the structural components of personality (part 1)
The psychological structure of the personality, in general, is very complex and multifaceted. Each person carries within him only the inherent individual characteristics, which to the end to understand and…

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Art therapy for children and adults. Receptions of phototherapy
In modern society, there is an ambiguous attitude to the services of a psychologist, to areas in psychology. Why does a normal person need a psychologist? What can he offer?…

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Tale to the rescue (part 3)
am a storyteller Psychologist Natalya Katsevich advises parents to read, for example, fairy tales A.V. Miklyaeva, “We Are Not Afraid of the Gray Wolf” P.V. Rumyantseva, “Path to your Self”…

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Say thank you, otherwise it will be worse …

I did not notice how another year flew by and my daughter Yulia was three. Literally in a matter of days, my flexible and good-natured child turned into an imperious little despot. – Give me the juice! She commanded. – Now! “Do you know the magic word?” I tried to call her to order. This phrase acted flawlessly on her older brother Alyosha, but Julia did not want to give in to her. “Are you a hundred, fooled?” Was her answer. – Give me si-xi-s! At first, I only laughed at the little cheeky: before, she was a sweet, calm child, and I often heard the word “posyalist” from her. But time passed, and she stubbornly refused to treat me humanly. The word “please” completely disappeared from her vocabulary. Then I decided to apply repression: do not fulfill a single request without a “please.” After this, a terrible struggle began, which caused only alienation between us. One Saturday, on a gloomy winter morning, when her husband was on a business trip, Julia asked for milk. “Say please,” I replied carefully. The week spent without dad was already beginning to tell: I felt tired to the limit. – Give it now! – said Julia. I was ready to burst with anger and a feeling of helplessness. “No,” I said, “I am not a servant, I am your mother — you cannot order me.” I will give you milk if you ask politely. Terrible cries and roars followed, which lasted almost half an hour. Between sobs, I tried to insert a word to explain to her: – If you say “please”, you will get your milk. In response, she only shook her head and sparkled her eyes; her whole appearance expressed absolute disobedience. In the end, my patience snapped, and it was my turn to scream. – Or you, little toadstool, will be polite, or … And what, in fact, is “or”? Tear off? Will I put it in a corner? Tear off my head? In general, I will teach to love politeness and good treatment. Read also: dense abscess 1 proverb about winter prayer for the repose of the newly deceased 2010 I love my ex-husband eyes squinted at 6 months I had to finish in a draw. I apologized to my son (during the whole battle he watched TV) and offered to take a walk. The next day, in a calm moment, Julia admitted that she was very angry with me the day before. Although she was calm, I understood well what was behind her words. I tried again to gently explain to her my requirements. She nodded, and I felt a faint hope of a successful outcome. However, not even a week had passed before the situation was repeated to the smallest detail, and later our quarrels were constantly renewed. I was tired of stubbornness and rudeness, but I could not accept the thought that my child would grow up ignorant. Alyosha has never been so rude. By the time he began to speak in whole phrases, the words “please,” “thank you,” were already in his everyday vocabulary. The guests were always surprised: “What a polite boy! I was sure that he had learned these words, because I myself had always treated him like that, because it was the way it was in our family.” But, judging by the behavior of Julia, this was a delusion. I asked friends. I spent several evenings delving into the literature on parenting. Nowhere was there concrete advice on how to deal with this problem. Then I decided to consult with my most reliable “expert” – Yulina, a teacher, a wonderful woman who has already raised her own three children. After listening to our heartbreaking story, she gave me unexpected advice. “Forget it,” she said, “with Julia, everything is in order.” She shares with other children, knows how to calmly wait for her turn, and in the garden she always says “please” when necessary. In addition, children, when they grow up, do not behave the way they were taught, but the way their parents are used to behaving at home. It’s like a mountain fell off my shoulders. I could end the war! As I did not understand before, it’s as pointless to get a child out of a child using tough measures as beating a child to fight … By dinner, when Julia wanted a gingerbread, I answered her: “Of course, now I will give you. But I would be nicer if you said “give me please.” Julia silently left with her gingerbread, and for some time doubts tormented me. But already in her next request, the long-awaited “please” sounded … Such a way out of the situation, perhaps, will seem obvious to everyone except me. The advice I received helped me understand that the cause of our conflict was the struggle for pride, and not at all the difference in our views on how to behave. In this situation, ending the fight was the best way to win. And when I went to meet the wishes of my daughter, she answered me the same. In the end, her freedom is already limited by many indestructible rules, the meaning of which she rarely understands: she must hold my hand in the street, wear a panama on sunny days, go to bed at a certain hour … However, there are many other questions, in which a small concession is possible, and sometimes necessary.

Etiquette from an early age (part 1)
Children brought up in life have a number of advantages: there is something in them that attracts and holds people. They feel much freer in society, including unfamiliar, easier to…

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Game therapy and fairy tale therapy in the work of a child psychologist (part 2)
Another option for playing psychotherapy is to play a plot. The plot in question should resemble the real story that the child is experiencing. For example, if a girl feels…

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How not to spoil your child
Continuous tantrums with tears and the demands of fulfilling all the vagaries of children will easily unsettle anyone. If a child is spoiled in childhood, he may develop a complex…

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Etiquette from an early age (part 1)
Children brought up in life have a number of advantages: there is something in them that attracts and holds people. They feel much freer in society, including unfamiliar, easier to…

...